The Real Animal Crossing Story

Tired of having you mooch off of them, your parents kick you out and tell you it's time to start living life on your own. After all, you're verging on your mid-twenties and nothing but a smelly mama's boy. So you hop on the train and while tripping on acid you go on a whole Alice in Wonderland type adventure. Animals start talking to you and a cat asks to sit next to you on the train. He then asks you where you're going, where you'll be living, and if you even have money, to which you respond to with very uncertain answers. Realistically, you don't know where the hell you're going, totally just made up the town name Doobop, and only have 100 bells in your pocket. And seeming a little too willing to help, your new cat friend offers to tell his buddy Tom Crook err Nook, about you who apparently lives in this made-up town. He's supposed to help you get a shitty little cottage that you have to pay a ridiculous sum of money for, but hell they don't tell you that till later. So you get off the train and meet up with this Jewish raccoon who runs the shop in town. Surprisingly enough, you go along with it all, too jacked out of your mind to object to any of it. Later you're introduced to a senile turtle that claims to be "the mayor of Doobop."